Piñon Canyon Cattlemens' Power Plant

We had moved our discussion about Piñon Canyon Uranium Futures LLC to The Holy Land's Quickee's. It was much cooler and there were fewer mosquitoes, though we couldn't watch the swallows wheeling about, nor could we enjoy the bucolic view. On the other hand, the mouth-watering odor of frying burgers and onions was almost overwhelming. Tookie was almost literally drooling. Tookie is not a vegetarian. She is a Republican.

"They could call the nuclear power plant down on the Purgatoire the 'Piñon Canyon Cattlemens' Power Plant'," she said, already thinking deeply.

DinkyDau Billy was setting up his laptop. There was an unsecured wireless connection nearby, because he was always able to get an Internet connection in Quickee's. "They's awready a power plant down there," he revealed, "I gots some pals who got a aerial shot of it. Gimme a minnit and I'll show you."

We were dumbfounded.

"Billy! We're dumbfounded!" we chorused.

"Ain't that the truth," he agreed, "but gimmee a minnit. The yourainyum contamination prolly comes from that ree-ackter."

"So why is McKinley making such a stink over it?" Tookie asked, "wouldn't that kind of blow the lid off The Secret?"

"He don't know about it. You an me and the rest a the voters ain't the only unwitting tools around here."

"Wow!" We continued to be dumbfounded.

"Way I hear it," Billy shared, "is that the PCCPP is in cahoots with summa them ARPA people, maybe from down in Raton, and that's why summa them is feets-draggin', you see," Billy went on, sharing his latest conspiracy theory. We really didn't see, but perhaps, being unwitting tools, we were blind. A bit of "Amazing Grace" flitted through my mind, along with quite a lot of other mental flotsam.

Tookie, however, was clearly on board. "What they oughta be thinking about," she told us, "is slipping that light colonel up at Fort Carson a few shares of PCCPP under the table with the understanding that he will pull some strings to kill the expansion."

"That might be difficult," Billy disagreed, "ain't he a West Pointer? I ain't sure. But them West Pointers gots some strange ideas. Sumthin about 'duty, honor, country'. So if yer gonna bribe him, make it a good one. That 'duty, honor, country' stuff usually carries a pretty high price. Wait. Here's the pitcher."

And here it is:



We were dumbfounded. All this was going on right under our noses, and even Wes McKinley didn't know about it.

"Lookit," Billy pointed out, "you can see how they pull water in from the Purgatoire, cool the reactor, then put it back into the river. Ain't that great? They use the river water to cool the newcleer reactor, then use the water for irrigation. Multiple uses of a nacherul resource. Them ranchers is nacherul stewards a our nacherul resources. I feel pretty good about this."

"What about all those cattle and sheep that were down there?" Tookie asked.

"Oh, they gots them as nacherul lawn mowers around the containment building and other areas on the grounds,"Billy explained, "you see, they eat all the weeds and keep the fire danger non-existent."

"So it's unlikely that there would be a range fire down there?" Toot Sweet wanted to know.

"Impossible. Wes McKinley and his sidekick Sal Pace said so," Billy emphasized.

"How did your pals get this picture?" Leece queried.

"Easy. They rented a helicopter up in Colerader Springs, painted it black with some waterpaints so they could wash it off quick, and flew down there. They fit right in. It helped that the pilot dressed up in a alien Halloween costume. Nobody even looked twice at 'em."

"I gotta ask," I said. "What's 'PCCPP'?"

"Oh. That's 'Piñon Canyon Cattlemens' Power Plant', a course," Billy revealed. Billy was in one of his Revelation moods today.

Our Juan Diego burgers were ready. The way things were going, mine would have an image of the Virgin Mary baked into the bun. What the hey. I could always auction it off on eBay.