The Chikaga Touch

We were sitting on the bridge over the Timpas, over on Road 23. The swallows had not really arrived in force, and the mosquitoes were still some weeks down the pike. It was a pleasant evening. It was more than that. It was a beautiful evening. All the bikes were against the rail on the other side of the bridge as we sat on the rail looking east.

"So, they's gonna do that 100% tax on them AIG bonuses, and git all the munny back?" DinkyDau Billy asked.

"That's what Chuckie Schumer said," advised Tookie.

"How kin they do that?"

"I'm not sure," Toot Sweet replied, "there are no provisions for that taxation now. It seems it is an 'ex post facto' move."

"Uhhhh...ex post facto...what about Bill of Attainder?" Billy asked, "wouldn't both apply to those bonuses and a special law passed to do what Chuckie wants?"

"Yep. It's right there in the Constitution of these United States, Article 1, section 9: No Bill of Attainder or Ex Post Facto Law shall be passed."

"And have these Constitutional scholars figured out what that means?" asked Leece.

"I can give you the definition of 'Bill of Attainder' from all of the sites dealing with the Constitution," said Tookie, "It's: 'a Bill of Attainder is meant to mean a bill that has a negative effect on a single person or group'."

"Passing a law that takes money from a very limited group of people seems to fill that bill quite nicely," Leece noted.

"They don't worry overmuch about the Constitution these days. It gets in the way of their 'values', such as they may be. AIG's execs got away with the Mob's money, and they want it back," Billy explained.

"The Mob? The Chikaga Mob?" Leece was amazed.

"Naw. The DeeCee Mob. The ones headquartered at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue," he chuckled,"you gotta understand, there's big bux here. Dodd has sucked up a quarter of a million bux from AIG alone in the last five years, and another half million from CitiGroup and Bank of Scotland. All bankrupt."

"Huh. Hey," Tookie went on, "you knew that The One put Rahm "The Fish" in charge of the census, right?"

"Yep. Moved control of the census right into the White House. Pretty blatant about it. That's why that feller, that senator who was gonna be their token Repub, told "The Fish" and "The One" to go fish."

"Now they are gonna have ACORN doing the census. They are going to have 1.4 million ACORN workers doing the census."

"ACORN is the voter fraud specialist outfit. They've been charged with voter registration fraud in how many states?" Billy was astounded.

"Who can count? We're gonna have the bestest census yet. Stand by for some serious Democratic redistricting."

We sat on the bridge, marveling at the "fundamental values" of the Democratic Party.