So there we were, sitting at our favorite table in The Holy Land Quickee's, snuffling a Juan Diego pizza and washing it down with diet Dr. Pepper.
DinkyDau Billy was perusing his New Interpreter's Study Bible.
"Hey! Hey! This here biblical linkage to the Broncos is Revelational to me," he revealed to us, "like, you know ... that 316 yards is enough to make me wonder if we're about to be Raptured!"
"Raptured? Are you serious?" asked Tookie, who finds the entire concept of the Rapture a perfect example of scriptural corruption. Until that moment, we all thought that DinkyDau Billy was of similar mindset. The rest of us certainly were.
"Well, c'mon ... 316 yards? Just coincidence? I think not," he exclaimed, rather excitedly.
"I'd agree with that," Toots agreed, "there's not much thinking going on right now."
This earned her a glare from Billy.
"Well, there's more!" he exclaimed, "lissen here."
"We're all ears," Leece assured him.
"So, John Elway's initials are J.E." Billy told us, as though exposing a Great Truth.
"Really? Ida never guessed that on my own," Tookie snarked, "what else ya got there? What's the connection?"
"Well, so was Judas Escariot's initials J.E.!" Billy exclaimed. He was doing a lot of that.
We all stared at him.
"Judas ... Escariot?" Leece sort of choked a bit as she got that out.
"Yeah. Yeah. So Tebow better watch his backside, ya axe me. That Elway may not sell him out for 30 pieces a silver, but how about takin' him to the cleaners over them endorsements an suchlike?"
We all stared at him.
"Unca Billy." It wasn't a question. It was an authoritative statement.
"Yeah? Yeah?"
"It's 'Iscariot', not 'Escariot'," Tookie shared with him.
We all stared at him as he digested this.
"Uhhhhh ... yeah. I knew that. Yup. I did. I was just testin' y'all."
We snuffled the rest of the pizza in silence. Contemplative silence. Like in one of those spiritual disciplines.
"Well, you know, there's John the Baptist's influence on the games too, ya know," Billy kind of whined at us.
"What?" That from Leece.
"Well, s'pose them Broncos hand the Patriots there heads? John the Baptist sets the precedent, doncher think?"
Leece mulled that one over a bit.
"Well ... first, it's 'their', not 'there.'"
We've always wondered how she does that. I think she may have read "The Chaos" one too many times.
"I think you have it backwards," she told him.
"Yes, Unca Billy, because John the Baptist was The Good Guy, and he's the one what lost his head, so if the Broncos lose by a pile of points, it would be more biblically analogous."
We all stared at Tookie, wondering why she tormented us with words like 'analogous.' Who talks like that. I mean, really now.
"Um ... yeah. Yeah. I see that now. Hey! Hey! Maybe if the Bronkers win, we should git Thomas and McGahee to hold up Tebow's arms. That'd be biblical, wouldn't it? Like when they held up Moses arms?"
We all stared at him.
And then we ate some more pizza.
