4/3/15

Tumbleweeds

Having just spent the last hour or so pitchforking tumbleweeds, huge piles of tumbleweeds, out of the yard, I cannot help but think that any governing body in this part of the state - or anywhere, for that matter - that votes to expend tax dollars to gather up these damned things, spray them with fire retardant, paint them, and then have city utility crews stack them up as a Christmas tree ... deserves to be impeached.

Do we not have anything better to do with the money that the government filches out of my wallet than to make a monument out of one of the state's most noxious, water-wasting weeds? Why not plant Russian olives and tamarisk in our public parks while we're at it.

Do we have to take every cockamamie idea from "The Creative Crowd" and "The Idea People" and inflict it upon the rest of us as though it were coming down from God himself?

Here is a reprint of "All that glitters ..." from last year, when "The Creative Crowd" was in full cry over this nonsense:

Glendale, AZ, has an annual bit of festivity they call 'Glendale Glitters.'

Here is a the link to Glendale Glitters imagery on Google:

Glendale Glitters images

We've been there. It's quite enjoyable. Festive. Wouldn't this be a nice look for the Santa Fe Plaza? Especially if we could get a couple of stores to stay open?

We really like Glendale Glitters. They have shops, restaurants, etc open all around the square, and back a block or two. Sadly, many of the doo-dad shops sell a bunch of Chinese crap, but there is still a good selection of local goods. The restaurants and coffee shops are generally quite good.

Note there are no tumbleweed trees.

The Anthem Christmas tree is another favorite, especially for the kids. You can't miss it as you come into Phoenix from the north, on I-17.

The Anthem Christmas Tree

I don't suppose we need a 112 foot tree, but a 'real' tree of some size down yonder at Santa Fe Plaza would be nice, don't you agree?

If Our Beloved President can speechify whilst lighting the national tree ... I would think local politicians would leap at a similar chance on a local scale.

But we aren't looking at that. We have a bug up our butts over a tumbleweeds Christmas tree.

I suppose a tumbleweeds Christmas tree would be a bit of a novelty in the urban setting, but personally, I see a tumbleweed tree, here in an agricultural community on the high plains, as incredibly poorly advised. But if we are going to be the laughingstock of every rancher and farmer between here and the Nebraska line ... let's do it right. Let's include some Russian olives (bare branches decorate well, as we see in Glendale Glitters) and tamarisk along with the tumbleweeds tree. That way, we can have three of the most noxious water-wasting weeds in the state, on which millions of tax dollars are spent every year for eradication and control, representing our commitment to conserving our water and protecting and preserving our shortgrass prairie. The rest of eastern Colorado - except for recently arrived transplants from California or the east coast, and locals who have taken complete leave of their senses - can ROTF LTAO at us, along with the goofs who buy this stuff:

Extra Large Tumbleweed

Note how the sale is pitched to appeal to the urban drone. Me, I'd add that it was 'organic' and a non-GMO item as well.

But that's just me. And Leece. And what do we know. Other than we're going to start collecting tumbleweeds and sell them to clueless urban hipsters. With free shipping, of course.

For a nominal charge, Leece will even throw in a crocheted prairie dog spare toilet paper roll cover. Very rustic.