Making America Great Again

I keep hearing how Trump is going to 'make America great again.' But when I ask for some specifics as to what that means, I can't seem to get a coherent answer.

So I'm going to drop back and punt. Let's assume that 'making America great again' means taking the country back to a time when 'we as a nation feared God.'

That's not too far-fetched, given James Dobson's recent - albeit waffling - endorsement of Trump, calling him a 'baby Christian.' Trump has also rigged a panel of God's professionals, apparently to assist him in keeping God on his side.

It's also not too far-fetched given the reaction of that paragon of Evangelical Republican virtues Mike Huckabee's view on how things were when 'we as a nation feared God.' He made quite a show of it after declaring back in 2012 that the Newtown shooting was no surprise, as we have 'systematically removed God from our schools.'

That God dude must not be nearly as omnipotent as the Evangelicals seem to think he is, if 'we' can give him the boot from anywhere ... but let's not be asking Questions about what God's professionals tell us about God.

Nonetheless, some of the rowdier of the younger Evangelical set - in this case Rachel Held Evans -claimed that Huckabee's statement was ...


Huckabee responded in characteristically arrogant fashion, self-assured that he and God are on the same wavelength. Here is an excerpt that I find absolutely fascinating. It's where he lays out how Great America Was Back When We As A Nation Feared God:

I realize my viewpoint sounds out-dated and archaic, but when that world view was the foundation of our nation’s social contract, we got in trouble at school for talking in class, chewing gum, pulling a girl’s pigtails, or slouching in our school desks. We took guns to school, to be sure, but they were in the gun racks of our trucks and we used them to hunt before and after school. It never occurred to us to use them to murder our teachers and fellow students. So yes, I can stand the contempt and criticism of the left. I’ll gladly accept their scorn as they substitute creative language with a steady stream of profanity-laced tirades that I’m an idiot, a throwback to the past, and a person who should be forever silenced. But when we as a nation feared God, we didn’t fear that a 20 year old with a high powered rifle would gun down our children in their schoolrooms.

No, Huck, we didn't fear a 20 year old with a high-powered rifle in the schools. We had other distractions, back when We As a Nation Feared God:

Pulling pigtails?

Nathan Bedford Forest, a God-fearing man. Very much anti-pigtail pulling.

God-fearing men interacting socially in America, back when We As a Nation Feared God. We can only wonder if these fellows pulled the wrong pigtails.

This one is from Huck's Arkansas. Perhaps he pulled the pigtails a little too hard?

 God-fearing government officials explaining old-fashioned American Values to gathered citizens.

Another God-fearing government official, perhaps engaged in explaining God's Mysterious Ways to a fellow who didn't quite get it? Note the Moses-like rod in the hand of the God-fearing government official, who clearly oozes Christian spirit.

God-fearing Christian Americans. Pals of God-fearing Man Nathan Bedford Forest.

Chewing gum in class?

God-fearing Man enjoying the Blessings of a God-fearing Nation.

More God-fearing men - black veterans of WWI - enjoying the Blessings of the God-fearing Nation which they had served, presumably in a God-fearing manner.

God-fearing government official explaining basic American values of truth and justice ("Your president is not a crook.").

Slouching at our school desks?

 John Chivington, God-fearing Methodist minister, and hero of Sand Creek, where he managed to slaughter a bunch of women and children who, being heathen Injuns, presumably were insufficiently God-fearing.

God-fearing corpses litter the field at Gettysburg, having been led into God's righteous battle by other God-fearing men, in defense of  "states' rights" - the God-given right of God-fearing men to own other men as slaves. Glory, glory, hallelujah!

 Talking in class

And no one had sex back then, outside the holy bonds of matrimony, We As a Nation Fearing God as we did and being too busy talking in class anyway. And of course, there was no child abuse, no child molestation, no domestic abuse, none of that back when Mike Huckabee was thinking about pulling those pigtails ... for We Were a God-fearing Nation:

I think I'll avoid Huckabee's God, and stick with my own. Fortunately, because of those 'liberal' courts and 'activist' judges, and because of people willing to tell the Christian Right to shove it, I do not have to accept the Republican version of God, even if Mike Huckabee wants to ram it down my throat at gunpoint:

Perhaps Job should be re-written. Huckabee could ghost-write for Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. And, since he has such a handle on God, perhaps he should do a nice revision of God's speech as well.

Or perhaps he and Donald could just write scripts for a remake of "Ozzie and Harriet." 

And keeping it all in perspective:

Update 02.10.2015: Fresh remembrances from Huckabee's 'back when we as a nation feared God':

History of lynchings in the South documents nearly 4,000 names