Here is hard evidence that Lee Harvey Oswald, who obviously never read about fellow leatherneck Carlos Hathcock in "One Shot, One Kill", was a long-time associate of hard-drankin' night-clubber Jack Ruby...
This photo, recovered from the bowels of the Pentagon, was taken at the infamous early sixties Dallas basement club, "The Garage". It is the unretouched original.
The famous photo of Jack Ruby shooting Oswald is the fake:
retouched by Angolan agents and slipped to un-American factions in the liberal pinko press - thereby establishing a Cuban connection.
The man behind Oswald, wearing the white hat, is reportedly Dean Martin, who had ties to Las Vegas. The man in the top right corner, half-hidden, is rumored to be Tom Landry.
And...eyewitnesses have said that the man in the light suit, who is getting ready to put his left foot forward and his right foot back, is actually the ghostly figure from the grassy knoll.
Dan Rather reportedly swears that all of this is true. He heard about it from a retired Air Guard lieutenant colonel who lives somewhere in Texas.
Unfortunately, our witnesses seem to have disappeared after having been visited by strange men wearing dark suits, mirrored Oakleys, and driving an unmarked Ford sedan.
The investigation continues...remember, you saw it here first!